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Meeting Trump in an alley!

15 Nov 2016, 15:20 | updated: 16 Nov 2016, 13:36

Rafiqul Islam Kamal
Translated by Piplu Adhikary

The world is now surviving the aftershock that Donald J. Trump offered just before a week ago when he became the president-elect of the United States. He is yet to take over the White House. The ‘Satire’ section of the NTV Online met Trump at the gate of White House to take the first ever (imaginary) interview of the man himself!   

Qs. Mr. Trump, congratulations for being elected as the next president of the United States!

Trump: Donyabad! (tried but failed to pronounce ‘Dhonyabad’, Bangla equivalent of ‘thank you’)

Qs. For God’s sake Mr. Trump! Please don’t try it, you’re just ruining our language! Ok, forget it. Now tell us, what do you think makes you the president-elect?

Trump: What’s so fussy about it? It’s very simple, I got the most votes (actually he didn’t), so, I’m the president!  That’s it.

Qs. Oh really! What was your first reaction on becoming the president-elect of the US?

Trump: It was like…having intimate moments with my new young girlfriend for the first time!

Qs. What are you saying Mr. Trump! It seems people were not wrong about your personality!

Trump: Oh, come on! Who cares what people think about me! Beautiful girls fall for me because I’ve such personality to attract them!

Qs. (In Bangla) Goats eat rubbish and crazy men talk gibberish…

Trump: Pardon me, I didn’t get it, what did you say?

Qs. Forget it, you won’t get it Mr. President. So, your ass is on fire right after you have won the election…

Trump: And, that’s the moment when I borrow the idea from Bangladesh… using sand-filled truck for protection! What an idea!

Qs. So, what are the next ideas you plan to borrow from Bangladesh in future?

Trump: I’ve so many ideas to borrow, such as, making fake promises, misleading the public, exploiting banks…and many more! I’m planning to create a post for that — ‘idea import adviser’!

Qs. Wow! Your brain is full of tremendous ideas!

Trump: Are you teasing me? I’ve doubts on you!

Qs. What are you saying Mr. President! It takes a lot of courage to tease the most powerful President of the world! Forget it! Let’s talk about your girlfriends…

Trump: Nope, I won’t tolerate it if you drag my beloveds into this conversation!

Qs. No, no, I won’t drag her here, just tell me one thing…rumours are that you have many girlfriends…so, how do you manage your dating schedule?

Trump: Well, it’s not a nonprofessional’s job and not everyone can do it! You have to be a genius, just like me!  And, a genius won’t disclose his secrets!

Qs. Oh! Okay Mr. Trump, you have taken so much of my time! I’ve a lot of works left to do. I’m signing off.

Trump: Listen, I’ll come to visit your country…I heard there’s a man in Bangladesh who is just like me…I want to meet him.